Flushed down the drain
Photo by Simon Hurry on Unsplash |
When I came back from my book haul at Booksale, not much had changed—my mother was still lying on a metal bed along the corridor outside the ER. This would continue until the next day.
That night, the NGT was removed.
Around 11 AM the next day, I had my lunch—a bowl of greasy nilagang baboy and two cups of rice. When I returned, my step-father told us that he wanted to go home to clean up. Instantly, my mother’s face contorted.
“Mubalik
ko dayon, hon. Maligo lang ko ug magda ug imong gamit,” he reassured her.
Unable to speak as her throat was still tender, my mother groaned in consternation. I’d react the same way too if it were me. Dread crept up as my step-father promised he'll return right a way.
It took a while before my mother smoothened her face. She was too weak to argue, too weak to protest.
A few
moments later, my step-father was gone.
He would
return days after.
I sat next
to my mother for what felt like an eternity, fanning her from time to time as
it was sweltering. By 2 PM a nurse notified us that we can now enter the ER as
there were already empty areas. I don’t know if I like the idea of being
surrounded by dying people. I'd rather melt outside then go inside. But there was nothing I could do.
The only
consolation was the industrial electric fan inside. When we got in, I made
it a point to take the spot that was well-ventilated. Because it was the day before New Year’s, the
hospital was bustling. We were even displaced from our initial spot to make
space for the “Oplan Iwas Paputok” area. I went from one corner to another as
the patients were slowly wheeled out of the ER to their respective wards. Noticing that only a few of us were left, a heaviness rippled through my heart.
“Toy,” my
mother called my attention.
“Natatae
ako.”
“Wait sa
ma,” I responded, hoping to distract her.
“Kaya nimo
huwaton si ate?” I asked.
“Ngano
man? Di na nako kaya, toy.”
I
continued distracting her to buy my sister some time. She was on her way to PGH, and
I was not ready to be anywhere near mama when it happens.
“Toy, asa
na ang bed pan?” she sounded irritated.
“Wait sa
ma,. Hapit na si ate,” I fidgeted.
“Di na
nako kayang pugngon. Asa ang bed pan?” she cried.
Finally,
after coming to my senses, I took out the bed pan and placed it underneath
mama.
Assisting
my mother, she slowly lifted herself and moved the bedpan closer to her
buttocks.
You can
never delay the call of nature, I thought to myself as my mother relieved
herself.
A few more pushes and she was done. Luckily, my sister arrived shortly and helped me with the aftermath..
Little time was spent catching up with my sister as she was celebrating New Year’s Eve with a friend. If I could freeze time, I would've done it. But there was only so much toxic positivity I could take—it all went down the drain with my mother's excrement.
Never in my life did I feel empty and alone as when she exited
the ER that afternoon.
Paminaw
lang ug music para di ka mingawon. Her text read in reply to my Te, sad ko kayo
ron.
I was on
the verge of tears while typing my reply.
Happy New Year, te. Ingat.
If only I could wish that for the both of us.
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