I lost my ipod shuffle and learned an important thing

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There was this one instance when I thought that I lost my sister's ipod shuffle (which I am claiming is already mine). 

I was on my way home (actually on a jeepney) when I realized my bag was open. I checked my bag's inner pocket where I usually keep my wallet and other important stuff safe; it was open. But weird enough, I was not alarmed. I told myself  that I might have forgotten zipping it close. And so I took my commute unbaffled by my discovery.

When I arrived at home and checked the contents of my bag I realized that my ipod shuffle was nowhere to be found. I might have left it attached to its charger in my drawer at the office. I reassured myself that it was just sitting on a pile of documents and I will find it where I left it tomorrow, untouched.

When I arrived at work I forgot about it. I only remembered looking for it after lunch. To my disbelief I was not able to find my shuffle player. That was the time that I started panicking.

I asked my officemates if they chanced upon my tiny mp3 player; all I got was a no from them. I tried asking our network admin, I also got nothing but a "ha?!" It was pointless.

I went on all fours in search of my missing gadget. I don't want to care about what my officemates might say. I want my ipod shuffle back. I want it back.

Thoughts were already running in my head: 

- How can I bear the long hours of my daily commute?
- How can I jog without it?
- How can I kill time by not listening to music?
- How can I live without my distraction?

It was devastating. I was regretful. I kept on blaming myself.

I tried recreating the night of the event when I thought I lost my ipod. It helped me think of possible scenarios as to how and where I lost it.

These were my thoughts:

- Someone took it from my bag.

- Someone hid it as a prank
- I was just so forgetful that I misplaced it somewhere and eventually lost it.

- It fell from my bag as I was cleaning it.

- It found another of its own. Fell in love and eloped.

I gave up the very moment I realized that it already happened. I can't turn back time and change what I supposedly should have to prevent it. It was a done deal. And I lost.

I got back to my senses and went back to work mindfully that day with lingering thoughts of what just transpired.

The next day was a different story. I was able to function as I went over with my work. It was a bit difficult because I was always reminded of yesterday's mishap. But still I tried my best and was able to cross out tasks off my to-do list (facebooking, tweeting, you get the pattern).

Little by little I got used to the idea that my ipod shuffle was gone. It will never come back. And so I resorted to other ways of listening to music on my daily commute. I used my "hand-me-down" tablet and was surprised of my experience. It was the same; no slight difference. It was not the tablet itself that was important, it was the music. The feeling of listening to your favorite songs while being stuck in traffic. It was as simple as that.

After 2 days I found my ipod shuffle on my bed hidden under my blanket. I was thrilled. I was jumping. It was a euphoric moment. But after awhile the sudden burst of emotion was washed away by indifference.

I was already accustomed to the idea that my shuffle player was gone.

I have already moved on and found other alternatives.

I have been used to not using it forever.

My brain and heart have already accepted the idea of it not existing or in the hands of another person who will enjoy using it the same way that I did.

I already enjoyed listening to songs on my old tablet.

I felt content and joy which I would not have experienced hadn't I "lost" my other player.

Two days.

Only 2 days for me to realize enough.

...And two different gadgets.