You failed the exam while your happy-go-lucky, and cheater classmate toppled the class. What will be your initial reaction?
Your 5-minute grace period is about to end and yet you’re still stuck in traffic. How would you feel?
Your partner forgot to bring his laptop for your presentation and your professor is already furious. What will you do?
You are about to get your classcards and finish the enrolment process when suddenly the registrar announced that the enrolment for that day is already finished. How exactly are you going to react?
The following situations suggest us one similar reaction. Others prefer to use harsh terms such as lash out, go berserk, or even devour someone. But all of it boils down to a completely normal human emotion – anger.
When we are anger, we tend to be aggressive with our responses, causing us to do irrational and inappropriate things we’ll regret in the future. And the best way to reduce these effects is to learn to control our feelings and reactions in a constructive manner.
Below are the following pointers on how we can manage our “hotheadedness” and react in the best way possible when faced with anger and frustrations.
1. Express it.
` When your anger is triggered and there’s no way to turn things around, then go with it. Unexpressed anger can create other serious problems such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why) and physiological repercussions such as hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Anger need not be expressed in a threatening way. You may find other pointer to constrictively express it (which I will be discussing later on).
2. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Simple and effective, relaxation tools such as deep breathing and yoga-like exercised can help cool down your rising boiling point. When doing this, you can also use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience or a happy one and breathe in deeply then breathe out slowly. Isn’t that a breather?
3. Talk yourself in.
When heated arguments are brewing up one way of distracting yourself is by having a candid moment – all by your self. Slowly repeat a calm and reassuring word or phrase such as “I can do this”, “take it easy”. Repeat this step while doing number 2. You may look weird but this is unusually sane.
4. One step at a time.
Our anger and frustration are sometimes caused by inescapable problems that we find hard to deal with. In this scenario we will need our problem solving skills. And when I say problem solving skills, this includes having a positive mindset, “that every problem has its own solutions”. We must take our time, make a solid plan, and resolve things to the best of our ability. But when solutions seem out of reach, you could always resort to plan B, C, D, and so on.
5. Choose your words.
This applies to heated discussions and arguments. When having one, do not always jump into conclusion use tip number 4 and get your brain cells working. In this process, your choice of words will be helpful in coping with your raging temper. Slow down and think of the appropriate words to say, refrain from cursing, swearing, and shouting. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is trying to say and answer it in a mild and soothing tone.
Remember this: Logic defeats anger, so better clear up your mind or you’ll end up becoming irrational. Think before you speak.
6. Humor your self.
Supposedly you got yourself in a word war with your classmate. You started thinking of the most gruesome and depreciated name to call your frenemy who pushed your angry buttons by criticising your looks. Instead of blurting it out, why not stop and picture out what that word would literally look like. Be creative on this. Your imagination will be drawing funny pictures in your head and voila the tension is gone! This can work on everything. Let your creative juices wash away all your resentments.
7. No to grudges!
Of all the pointers here, this one really stands out. Learn how to forgive and forget. Never hold on to any grudge. Don’t let yourself be eaten up by bitterness. It will not do you any good.
As Psalm 37: 8-9 reads:
“Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not in yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherent the land.”
One more thing. Don't let it get the best of you. I assure you everything will be alright given proper mindset and disposition. And never ever make a decision when you're angry.