Oh well, nowadays I realized I’m already drowning myself with insecurity issues that are already eating me up alive. It’s time to stop the wallowing part that is really upsetting me and begin writing all of it here (that might do the trick).
You know what? Knowing who your true friends are is one of the best feelings one can ever experience. And at some point in my life I already felt that feeling of relief and satisfaction, the feeling of knowing who to trust and to rely when times get rough. But we can never assure that the friends we have now will still be there in the future. The only thing we got are the memories of the happy and sad times we’ve shared with them.
I really don’t think I’m a bad friend but then I realize that some of my friends before are not the closest I have now. It’s just sad to think that I’m the one responsible for all the continental drifting notions happening with my former close friends. When in fact it should be both of the parties concerned (so sad!). And that’s what I have to go through now, a life of regret. But still the decision is mine to make, whether to live a life of misery or a life full of moving ONs and letting GOs. That choice is a simple one and I pick the one that will make me a selfless person rather than a selfish one. Moving on and letting go of whatever I have in the past will assure me that the future will still be friendly to me even if some of my experiences were sort of unfriendly and tactless.
One thing I remember, these experiences lead me to the friends I have now. It may sound cheesy (cornballs please) but still the ones I have now are the ones I will have when tougher times come. I’ll be forever grateful for all the mishaps I’ve gone through because without it all I’ll never string a bunch of weird people I now call friends.
And the sad story became a happy one…