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Midnight rounds...

Lately, I found myself working too hard. I've been staying up all night for a couple of weeks already.  You can see empty wrappers of Nescafe 3 in 1 in my bedside. All of it heaped together to remind me of my inevitable indulgence on staying up late.

"Why did you take this course?" a classmate of mine asked me one time. I stopped and did a stationary mantra to process the question.

"Uhm, Kasi it deals with computers. At saka mahilig ako dun. Kaya ganun." I told her in a high-regard-tone.

And there was silence.

Back to the topic. I really thought that my course will just be a piece of cake.  Information Technology, in my own thinking seems to be the manipulation of Information using high-end technologies. I know I'm good at it. I am well-versed in all Microsoft applications. (That includes MS Word,  MS Excel, etc.) But I was gravely wrong and I've learned from it. The never ending nights proved to be my coping mechanism with the stupidity I have.

Really. First up is the programming I have to do,  paralleled with the know-hows on Database Management and all stuffs related to that. 24 hours seem not enough for me to finish all the tasks I have to do especially on my case where learning seems stagnant. My brain cells lost their ability to signal my impulses to think and to get information. And lately, they (brain cells) seem to die instantly oh NOOOO!!! That's one of my dilemmas and as far as I'm concern it's giving me self-pitying times and bakit-sila matalino-at-ako-masmatalino? moments. I often regard myself as a "slow learner" but I just shrug that thought and think of other alibis such as "Iba lang talaga ang learning style ko. Pag nakuha na ng logic ko yan, hmmm.. magiging magaling rin ako sa mga inherit  inherit na yan!"

It has been an ordeal for me to go through with each day dealing with things like,  mysql and the others. That explains the hardworks I've been doing lately. The 4am rounds I have in front of the netbook monitor. And the nightmares I got about a living code devouring human's flesh every time I try coding a sample program.

It's been difficult for me to handle these situations. But in the long run, I found myself productive. The nights I allot for sleeping are the nights I allot now for doing IT stuffs. And the mornings I allot for idling around are my sleeping times already.

The complexity of the matter gives me a taste of life. I know I can get through all of these. I already had and maybe that's a hint for me that I'm gonna make it again this time. Though, things may be uncertain, I'm sure that I'll be doing a lot of not-sleeping and less of backstabbing moments starting today.

May God help me with this. :)

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