The first time I saw Jenny, I depicted her as a loving and innocent child. Loving, because she's the only girl in the family that's why all attention was on her, and innocent because at her young age she resembled a bud of flower ready to bloom in a meadow with many other flowers. But one tragic incident changed everything I knew about her.

One night while sleeping on her bed her older brother who was about 19 years old mercilessly raped her. She relentlessly refused but her brother tried to threaten her saying that he will kill her if she will tell to their parents what happened between them. She was immobile that very moment until the evil deed was done. The crime was so perfect it seemed everything was planned beforehand and so, no one from the family except Jenny and her brother knew the incident.

After the incident, I seldom saw Jenny and every time I see her, she would always look down-casted. The cheerful and childish Jenny in her was gone. She seemed preoccupied all the time and when I would ask what her problem is, she would grin and tell me that everything was alright and fine. But the turmoil of her experience was not yet finished and the damage was yet to come. It is like a tragedy in the making and a horrible sight yet to unfold. Like a domino effect, it affects everything... blow by blow it attacks its opponents, unprepared and uncertain. 

As Jenny kept the secret of her past, she became more and more emotional and inferior, she became passive with everyone especially her family. She tends to be alone, lock herself up inside her room rather than mingling with others. As time passed, the damage inflicted by the incident slowly grew until the time it almost eaten her up alive.

From failing grades to unhealthy relationships and from unresolved conflicts with her parents to inevitable insecurities within herself, she was so fed up with what she was going through, that for once she decided committing suicide. That same day, up in their condominium unit she jumped from the 23rd floor down to the solid ground. She dropped dead from the building and died without having the chance to reveal the secret that she was hiding long time ago. She was 17 then, so young and fragile.

And as I stand before her coffin, I can visibly reminisce the Jenny I knew before, innocent and loving... and the torture she went through just to keep her secret, a secret. Her life was a living hell back then, but now I know that somewhere out there Jenny is still feeling the same way she felt when she was still alive, the worst thing is, it is hundred times the pain and the torture.

How many Jennys are still on the list? How many of them are still keeping that secret unknown from anyone? And how many of them will experience Jenny's fate?

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